Diary: December 2002
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Sunday 15th December
Not much to say this time of year, hence the relatively rare diary entries.
Waiting for spring. Yes, I know it may be some time.
Can I live in a warm country now, please, can I? I've lived here long enough, surely I've repaid whatever wrongdoing has led to me being in this dark cold place? Oh, no, wait, that's just the inside of my head!
Ho ho ho! Only joking boys and girls! Merry Christmas!
Actually, I am really looking forward to the festive season, mainly because some kind of mid-winter partying is definitely called for. Admittedly, I'd rather have the good old mid-winter festival, like it was back in the old days. No, even before those old days before it was hijacked by advertising and commerce and became The Season of Pressure To Consume. (As advertising becomes increasingly relentless and unashamed in its emotional blackmail, it becomes harder to enjoy life, it's true.)
No, even before that - I mean before it was "borrowed" and re-labelled by the Christians, bless 'em. I mean, you can't blame them for thinking, "Hey, there's a perfectly good winter festival those pagan types have, everyone needs a party, let's say it's when our geezer was born, and after a few hundred years no-one'll know it was ever any different. Especially if we systematically torture and murder anyone who tries to hang on to their beliefs and doesn't submit to the view of the world that we're trying to impose!" - oh, sorry, that last bit just slipped out.
"Oh, come on Steve", I hear you say, "you're not still going on about that whole Inquisition / witch-hunts / oppression by the Church thing are you? It was a long time ago! Let it slide!!". I'm sorry. (Next thing you know I'll be saying that the "Crusades" were not in fact anything to do with spirituality, more like an excuse to start a war on Johnny Foreigner and nick all their gold and stuff. And boost your popularity back home. All in the name of religion! Hey, someone should suggest it to George Bush! Oh, no, wait ...)
Yup, next week I just want to celebrate the fact that it's not getting darker any more, and that it's then going to get lighter each day, and eventually warmer! (Well, okay, probably not until May. That's why they chose the name, you know - they thought, well, it may be warm by then.)
Can I do that, can I? And I don't necessarily want to feel "I have to buy things for people otherwise it shows I don't love them", thank you. If I see many more adverts this year I may have to run screaming through town with a semi-automatic weapon, don't say I didn't warn you. I don't even have a TV, but I still feel my consciousness is excessively polluted by advertising - but then again to avoid seeing any billboards or magazine adverts I'd have to take up a ridiculously hermit-like existence. Which probably wouldn't be that good for me, either. Living in a culture where things I see as ephemeral and irrelevant are held to be Real And Important, and where the things I value are, well, under-valued, my sense of isolation is bad enough as it is.
So there you go.
Oh, still working on demos for new set. Yes, music, I remember. It brings me joy. Yes.
In the new year then....